About Me

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This is in my heart. I love to write but could never finish anything. This way, I am accountable for writing daily and publicly sharing my relationship with the Lord. You may notice that I do not mention any names (except my first name). I want to keep my family, friends, co-workers, etc completely anonymous due to privacy issues. This blog is a release for me. A way to concentrate solely on my Lord, my issues and lay down all my worries in his hands. Also to praise The Creator of all things.

Thursday, March 31, 2011


It has been a few weeks since I have blogged.  So sorry about that.  But a lot has happened.  I downloaded a Bible App to my Droid X.  It is amazing.  The fact that I can bookmark my pages, participate in Live Events, and even sign up for Bible Plan Readings for myself.  It has brought me closer to God by allowing it to be more fun to read his Word. 

Don't get me wrong, just because I haven't blogged doesn't mean I haven't prayed every day - because I have.  And HE and I have gotten closer.  I'm so excited.  I have a drive now and I am witnessing him answering prayers of mine.  Patience is definitely virtue.

Today is my 5th day of exercising this week.  I'm getting back into it.  I am trying to get in 10,000 steps or more a day.  I'm doing great!  And my husband signed us both up for a 5K coming up in a few weeks!  I'm so excited!  He is going to walk but I am definitely going to run.  My fastest time in a 5K is 36 minutes.  Just yesterday I did 37 on the treadmill!  Yay!  I'm hoping I run it in 35 minutes or less.  I am just stoked and super excited!

Productivity at work has been up and the family has been getting along and we are all in good health.  I am truly blessed.  Oh yeah, and I have beautiful, warm and caring friends!  Just found out one of my good friends is having a baby girl and I'm so very excited for her!!! 

Praise the Lord for all the Good and Bad that come into our lives - that which molds us into our eternal beings.  Praise the Lord for all his blessings!  Forgive us our sins!  Protect us from harm, danger, and evil that may come our way! 

Thank you Lord!!! 

In His Name,


Monday, March 14, 2011

Happy 8 Year Anniversary!

I just want to thank you for bringing my husband and I together in holy matrimony eight wonderful years ago.  You brought just the perfect man to combine with my spunky personality.  He is my best friend, my lover, my rock, my heart and soul, my teacher AND my kid - HAHAHA!  Thought I would add that last little bit (he's not really my kid, just asks like a kid sometimes! :) ).  Really though, I couldn't have asked for a better husband for myself and father to my little girl. 

Happy Eight Years, My Love!

Again, thank you Lord!  You Rock! :)

In your son's name,


Sunday, March 13, 2011

Spring Forward

Dear Lord,
Thank you for this day!  Thank you for all your blessings! I'm sorry I didn't change my clocks last night.  Wow!  I knew about the time change ALL day yesterday, but since I went to bed so late - I remember thinking about how tired I was and I would just change it in the morning.  Hence, I woke up at 9am and thought, "Yay, Plenty of time to get ready for church." - NOT.  It was really 10am.  And I didn't realize that until I logged onto my computer.

Aside from that, I can not wait to get a brand new lap top.  I got a virus on this one a while back and it did something to one of my files because it slows down...slower and slower.  I have to run spybot, antivirus, disc cleaner, disc defragmenter, and registry booster constantly - restart system and one day later it's good as new (but that lasts maybe 2 days and then back to slowness).  I'm writing this on my only laptop.  I have a desktop computer but that one got a virus and we never got it fixed.  Those are things that I would like to fix though... my laptop (and give it to my daughter), my desk top and keep that in computer room, and get me and my hubby and new laptop for ourselves. 

It's in my heart to talk about this, but I don't want to.  I believe the viruses were received from websites that should not have been visited (porn).  I know my husband looked at them occasionally, but I did too.  I'm ashamed to say that but honestly, I believe that those viruses served as a warning.  I vowed to God to NEVER look at another porn website.  And so far, I have not.  My husband does not either. 

I know things seem harmless, but temptation gets the best of us.  I hate temptation and I hate sin and I do wish God created us without those issues.  I also wish God put little wings on my Pug.  :)  (ok that was my random thought of the day).  I want to do right in the eyes of the Lord.  I really do.  But it has to be one step at a time. 

Right now, there are two things that I really feel need to be focused on:  Tithing & Spreading the Word of God.  Tithing is something I am very okay with.  However, my husband is in charge of all the budgeting and says if we tithe we will not have enough money to pay our monthly bills.  Does anyone have any opinions on this or suggestions?  I say that if we tithe, God will somehow provide us with what we need to get our bills paid off.  My husband knows that God performs miracles, but I am thinking that my husband does not think he will provide us with what we need to get it done.  Lack of faith on his part, maybe?

Spreading the word of God...  that is a tough one for me.  I am shy when it comes to talking to new people.  And I don't want to sound dumb (which I do often - so I use humor to detract from that).  I have a hard time repeating things "word for word" and I'm slow to memorize.  So I've been thinking of two things recently that I could do to help spread the word of God:  Writing & Photography.

Let me start with Photography, that one is easy for me.  I absolutely LOVE taking pictures and editing.  I've actually been begging friends to do photo shoots with me (FOR FREE) this year so I can get in as much practice as I can.  I started thinking of actually starting my business next year.  My problem is that I don't want to charge anyone!  I want to give them great photos and surprise them.  I don't want people to pay and be disappointed.  Low self-esteem maybe?  Hmm...  But, I LOVE taking pictures of nature:  Trees, lakes, waterfalls, mountains, sunsets, etc.  God's creation is so beautiful.  And I thought about maybe publishing some of these photos with maybe a Bible Verse attached.  Maybe sell something like that at a Christian store?  I would love to do that, but just not sure how to get started.  That is one way I feel I can help spread the word through photography.  (I took the picture of the below flower and edited it and added a Bible Verse).

Writing is another story.  I love to write.  I am very creative and can make up tons of stories in my head and tell friends for entertainment purposes.  But I don't feel I am knowledgable enough to write a Christian book.  Maybe because I have only read the New Testatment and have never made it through the Old Testament?  Maybe because when I read, I need help understanding what it is God is saying?  But I would LOVE to do this.  Maybe a children's Christian book, perhaps?  Start small, right?  I did write for my high school and college newspaper.  I guess I just feel there is much better talent out there that I don't feel like I could even remotely compare.  Low self-esteem?  Wow, I need to work on that. :)

So with those two things in mind, I will keep working at doing my research, taking more pictures, and maybe start the beginning of a draft manuscript to see where it leads me.  I HOPE these are gifts that God gave me.  If so, I am very thankful - but I need to realize that I am good enough at producing something wonderful that can spread his word. 

Lord, you have provided me with two Gifts.  I know you want us to be humble, but I would like to pray for just a little bit more confidence to produce the spreading of your word with those gifts.  I believe I can be really good at them... but I do constantly compare myself to other "better" individuals and works.  I pray that, if these are the true gifts that you have given me, that I can do your works with ease. 

Lord, I'm actually feeling better today.  I continue to pray for healing throughout my body, chest, throat, sinuses and ears.  I also pray for you to protect me, my husband and daughter from any harm, danger, evil or sickness that may come our way.

Lord, forgive me in all the ways that I fail you.  If I sin and I am unknowing that I am sinning, please show me my wrongfulness so that I may work on that. 

Lord, thank you again for all that you have done and blessed me with.  Thank you for this Blog as well.  It's a release and a reminder for me.  A reminder to get closer to you and allow others to share and maybe learn.  Allows me to spread the word?  I hope so!  I love you!

I pray this in your son's precious name!


Saturday, March 12, 2011

Still Down...

Dear Lord,
I'm still feeling out of sorts.  Voice is scruffy, ears are tickling when I swallow, cough is in my chest, and still have little white bumps on my throat and tonsils.  Still taking my antibiotics though.  However, I'm still going to pray for healing - oh, and can you allow my hubby to baby me a bit today?  Just a thought. :)

I can't get the devastation of Japan out of my head.  Well, I know it's all over the news too - but the people.  All those people.  I want to sift through each speck of debris and lift their bodies and renew them again and tell them they are ok. 

Ever since I found out my name meant Messenger of Angels, I've always wanted to be an Angel to others and help them or heal them (through God, of course).  I wonder what he has in store for me in Heaven.

Lord, please be with those in Japan, Hawaii, and the West Coast of America that have suffered, is suffering or has lost anything due to these horrible conditions.  Please help Japan get back together soon. 

Lord, I thank you for all that you have done, is doing and all that you will do for me in my lifetime.  Thank you for your blessings. 

Please protect me, my husband and daughter from any harm, danger, evil or sickness that may invade or come into our lives.

Please give me the willpower (once my sickness is gone) to start exercising like mad and control my addition to food. 

Please forgive my sins, Lord.  I pray all these things in your name,


Friday, March 11, 2011

Tragedy and other issues...

What a tragedy it has been for those in Japan.  I can't even imagine what was going through their minds as buildings shook and tumbled, loss of power, and then being hit by a tsunami.  Lord, Please comfort those who are lost and trying to find safety, those who have lost and are in mourning, and those who don't know where they're loved ones are.  Please be with all of these people, Oh Lord.  I pray that you bring comfort to them and their families as they learn awaited news and try and rebuild their lives again.

I woke up at 2am this morning to the sound of my husband coming in from his marketing conference.  He was upset and wanting to know why I hadn't answered my phone.  I was still half asleep but I knew something had happened. 

A couple of years ago, my husband, who is a former alcoholic, drank an unknown amount of cough syrup.  From what I understand, he was not trying to harm himself, but had a terrible cough that wouldn't go away.  So as he was driving, he could not measure the normal dose and thought taking a few big gulps would suffice.  My daughter, who was eight years old, was in the car with him.  It was 9:00 pm.

As he was driving from his friend's house (which is about an hour drive), He said he felt something happening to his body.  A tingling sensation that pulled down from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet.  He said it was hard to breathe.  He pulled over and his body started to involuntarily slump down and he could not sit up.  My daughter was in the passenger seat crying.  He said he somehow managed to call me on his cell phone, but it was hard trying to remember my number and press the buttons. 

When I answered the phone, I remember he kept saying, "Angie, I love you.  I just need you to know that.  I love you."  He was repeating himself over and over.  Of course, I knew something was wrong.  I started spouting out questions about what happened, where was he, etc.  He wasn't sure what was happening, but said he felt like he was dying.  I was also able to figure out where he was and was able to get him driving again over the phone and I directed him how to get to his other friend's house who lived next to the church we attended.  It wasn't far, the reason I got him driving again. 

Our friend called an ambulance after speaking to me and letting my husband and daughter in the house.  It seemed like forever but I made it to the hospital before he did.  It turns out, the doctor actually thought my husband was on drugs.  But apparently there is some kind of chemical in the cough syrup that can cause this type of reaction if taken too much.

The next day, my family took off of work and school just to be together.  My husband felt that this was a wake-up call.  He needed to get his life together and right for the Lord.  He was already saved, but we were living carnally and not attending church regularly. 

This morning, at 2am, my husband told me he had the same experience coming home.  He tried calling me but my phone was not ringing out loud.  He called his mother, who talked to him on the phone until he made it home.  He does not know why he experienced the same symptoms, but assured me he had not taken any type of cough syrup.

Now, my husband is overweight.  He is on the following meds:  blood pressure, cholesterol, anxiety, pain (for his previous multiple back surgeries), and probably more (I have a hard time keeping up with that kind of stuff).  Heart disease runs in his family.  So, I started wondering, Is my husband having a heart attack?  Was this an aneurysm?  However, what are the chances of having a heart attack or aneurysm and then reversing itself where he's ok again?  I don't think that happens very often.  So now I'm wondering if he needs a CT scan of his head or if something else could be going on with him.  He was very scared and very drained. 

I woke up this morning also very exhausted, but feeling much sicker than yesterday.  We both stayed home from work and also let our daughter stay home with us too, for a family day.  (I don't do that often!)

Now, my daughter's massive ADHD episodes started today too.  When she is on ADHD stimulants (which are to help control her ADHD by allowing her to focus and calm down), quite the opposite happens.  She becomes irate and defiant. 

A couple of years ago, my daughter was on Adderal.  She had been on it since she was 5 years old.  I thought her behavior was just "her".  She became violent at the age of 8.  She would frequently ask me or my husband to kill her, she would say that everyone hates her, I found a steak knife under bed, she would scream and call me names, and the last straw was that she would take her toys and throw and try and hit me with them.  Now, I know what you're thinking.  She's a scrawny eight year old girl.  And I'm tough cookie.  But let me assure you, this little girl had so much adrenaline running through her body, she was stronger than some men that I know.

I had to put her in a behavioral hospital.  I believe they wanted her there for at least seven days.  I couldn't handle the fact that I couldn't see her but one hour per day.  I mean, this is my baby!  I kept thinking, she's going to be scared all by herself, Mommy isn't with her, etc.  I was literally going crazy and by Day 3, I released her.  The doctor there had taken her off of her ADHD stimulants and put her on behavioral meds.  For a year and a half afterwards, this little girl grew up so loving, never raising a hand to me, so affectionate.  I had my baby back!

Well, for a year and a half she did great.  Now she's in the fifth grade.  Since the beginning of the school year, she has been failing.  I tried over and over to talk to her teachers, but they are tired of me emailing them and have stopped responding.  I have never asked them to give her special attention.  Her biggest problem is that she forgets to bring her homework home, forgets to turn her homework in and forgets to write the homework assignments down.  During one phone call, my husband suggested that the teacher try and remind my daughter to write her assignment down or check her assignment book to make sure it was written there.  The teacher said that she didn't have time and suggested my husband take off of work, drive twenty minutes to school and make sure she had it written down himself.  Really?  Wow!  And to think that teachers no longer want to be there for the kids.  Very disappointing.

Anyhow, my daughter eventually qualified for the 504 plan - which is a legal plan to help students with disabilities of all types.  She just got approved and the school year is almost over.  The good news is that the plan will help her in middle school next year.  She doesn't have to re-qualify for a few years.  However, to be on the 504 plan, the school required my daughter to go back on ADHD stimulants and to keep trying the one that works for her.  So we are doing that and guess what??  Back to the bad behavior.

Today, she was beating on my bathroom door, kicking her bed, told me she hated me and hit me.  Don't think I didn't punish her.  I'm trying not to use corporal punishment because in the past, that always made things ten times worse.  So I took her TV and computer privelages away today.  I'm sick and I have to deal with this... ugh. 

One more thing, I had a dream last night that I was eating gummy bears (a whole box of them).  People kept looking at me like, "When is that girl going to put those down and quit eating?"  Yes, I'm a food addict.  I am currently 169lbs.  A few months ago, I had lost weight and reached 157.  I lost 34lbs actually.  I was in the 190 range.  So I don't consider myself morbidly obese, by any means.  But I can see the weight creeping back up.  I know that dream meant that I see that I am out of control.

Lord I have a few prayer requests this morning (or afternoon, I should say):
  1.   Not only comfort those and be with those who have experienced that earthquake and tsunami in Japan, but please heal my husband of whatever may be wrong with his body and/or mind.  Please comfort and be with him.  Please allow him to live a long life with me. 
  2.  I know this is a long-shot, but you are the King of Kings; Lord of Lords.  Please heal my daughter of her ADHD.  If that is not in your will, please help her control her anger.  Please comfort and be with her and let her know how much we love her and that we are there for her.
  3.  Lord, please help me get my food addiction under control.  Help me find the will-power and motivation to go back to eating appropriately and exercising like mad! :)
  4.  Help me be a better Christian.  Give me the words to help educate and talk to others about you.
  5. Forgive me of my sins, Lord.  All of my sins that I have committed against you.
  6. And last, but never least, Thank you that my family lived another day.  Thank you for your love, your mercy,  and your forgiveness.  Thank you for the Angels that watch over and protect us.  You are my heart, my love, my soul... my everything.
In His Name,


Thursday, March 10, 2011

For Those Praying For Me

This message is for those of you who have recently commented about praying for me.  First of all:  Thank you!  I truly appreciate that from the bottom of my heart.

I wanted to reply to your comments individually, but for some reason it won't let me.  Not sure why.  I'm kind of new to this website so I'm still learning.  But I wanted to let you all know that I truly appreciate your prayers!  Thank you!  May God Bless each and every one of you! :)


I have discovered a very intriguing, weird and useful device:  The Nettie-Pot!  Weird and Wow!  LOL

Well, first thing this morning I saw the little white dots on the back of my throat.  First thought was Strep.  So I went to work and went to the clinic at work and got tested.  The bad news is that I won't find out the results until Monday.  The good news is the nurse put me on 10 day antibiotics... so if it's strep, I'm already in the middle of getting rid of it.  If it's a sinus infection... I'm getting rid of it.  If it's a cold, I was advised to use a Nettie-pot and zinc lozenges to fight that as the antibiotics will not do anything for a cold. 

I do feel better but my throat feels scratchy and tonight I'm having just a little bit of aches.  Earlier today, I even "thought" my ear started hurting... but it went away faster than I could "think" about it. 

My hubby is at a work conference tonight and will be back around 1am.  So I've been trying to clean up the house, get the dishes done, at least one load of laundry done and maybe conk out for the night.  It's funny, I love having my own private and personal space... and then I miss him.  And when he's around, I want my space.  Ha Ha!  Gotta love marriage!

Lord, first I want to Thank You for all that you have done.  I thank you for creating this beautiful world.  (Yup,  I read a few chapters of Genesis last night) - :).   I thank you for always being there for us.  I love the creation you made.  The mountains, the trees, the flowers, the ocean... all you have created I find such beauty in.  Including bees.  I normally find them a nuisance, but one day I took a picture of one in one of my mother-in-law's flowers and it was truly beautiful. 

I thank you for my family and bringing us three together.  I thank you for my friends, co-workers, job, extended family, pets, home, car... everything lord!  I thank you for it all! 

Lord, Please heal me of the sickness that lingers in my body.  Please protect me, my husband and daughter from any harm, danger, evil or sickness that may come our way.

Lord, Please forgive me for all my sins that I have committed against you.  I pray for your help to be a better Christian.  Help me find wisdom and words to bring others to accept your son Jesus Christ into their hearts and their savior. 

Lord, I pray for your will to be done!  Thank you, Thank you, and Thank you!

I pray this in your son's precious name!