Mismanagement

Dear Lord,
So I didn't meet my production goals today at work.  Why?  I was on task until management asked my team to back up customer service by answering phone calls.  This dropped my performance in half.  So I decided to get off work an hour early.  By doing so, my performance numbers went up 20%.  Basically, I felt like I was taking a gamble.  If I worked my typical eight hours, I'm at 50% performance for the day.  Management may/may not decide to throw out those numbers.  What if they didn't?  Then I'd rather be at 70% for the day.  It helps with my two week average and my two week average (if it's not 100% or better) will determine my bonus and whether I qualify to go home to work.  The downfall?  It looks like I am not a team-player and willing to help out when needed. 

I'm stuck Lord because I love my job but I am beginning to hate where I work.  The rules seem to change daily.  It's making it difficult for me to have respect for a place that lays people off one minute and scrambles to take people off of their current jobs to help out where they laid everyone off.  Mismanagement?  Yes.  And I paid for that with overtime.  Hey, I'm not complaining about the money - but the principle behind it is wrong.

I can go on and on about all the wrong things in the company I work for.  Not that I'm perfect; but there are a lot of unfair practices going on.  And believe me, this company is huge!  Why not say anything?  Well, even though there is an anti-retaliation policy, people have gotten black-balled and the retaliation goes on anyway.  What management does is they will go and find anything on the person they don't want at the company... whether it be violating the dress code, sending too many chain letter emails, etc.  And once they find what they're looking for; they get rid of that person.  I assure you, you can find something wrong with EVERY employee at that company.  It's almost like asking people not to sin.  People don't want to sin, but do it anyway.  So if you look hard enough, you can fire almost anyone.  Including me.

Of course, I don't intentionally break any rules (except use the company instant messaging for non-business related discussions).  Seems pretty minor - but believe me, if they wanted to get rid of me, they could use that.

On a positive note, I remained very positive today and had a good day!  I thank you for that!  I even sent my husband an instant message (non business related, of course!) telling him that even though he didn't like the fact that I was reading a book called, "Managing God's Money", we can't go and seek the message we want to hear; in fact, the message will seek us.  That was all I told him.  Of course, he had to get in the last word that we make too much money and so therefore the 10% tithing amount will eat us alive and we won't have enough money for bills, etc, etc.  I didn't respond after that because I told him that was all I was going to say (shhh, for now *wink wink*)  :)  Ha Ha! 

I do pray that you help me to be a voice for my husband to hear when it comes to using money for your Will.  But I also pray that he hears other voices and not just mine.  Yours, perhaps?  Hearing other people instead of just his wife may help open his ears and the information may finally penetrate his mind.  I don't want to tithe to receive.  But I want to do my part.  Of course I want things...  but I don't want to be a selfish person.  My husband needs to be reassured that we will make it in life, even if we tithe 10%.  I just need to learn how to prove it.  I have faith, apparently my husband does not.

Wow, so my husband just came home and I want to have a "family discussion" about the cable and he assumes I want to add this and that; but I'm just asking questions to gain more knowledge and he has an attitude with me and says, "End of discussion".  Lord, I know you didn't make man to be that arrogant and insensitive.  Anyhow, that brings me back into this computer room to finish talking to you in silence.

Lord, I pray for peace tonight in my family's hearts.  I pray for wisdom, and a listening ear.  Lord, please protect us tonight in all of our endeavors and put your arms around us when we need you (which is all the time). 

Forgive me where I have failed you, Lord and I thank you for all you have blessed me with.

I love you,

Amen