Thank you for this day! Thank you for all your blessings! I'm sorry I didn't change my clocks last night. Wow! I knew about the time change ALL day yesterday, but since I went to bed so late - I remember thinking about how tired I was and I would just change it in the morning. Hence, I woke up at 9am and thought, "Yay, Plenty of time to get ready for church." - NOT. It was really 10am. And I didn't realize that until I logged onto my computer.
Aside from that, I can not wait to get a brand new lap top. I got a virus on this one a while back and it did something to one of my files because it slows down...slower and slower. I have to run spybot, antivirus, disc cleaner, disc defragmenter, and registry booster constantly - restart system and one day later it's good as new (but that lasts maybe 2 days and then back to slowness). I'm writing this on my only laptop. I have a desktop computer but that one got a virus and we never got it fixed. Those are things that I would like to fix though... my laptop (and give it to my daughter), my desk top and keep that in computer room, and get me and my hubby and new laptop for ourselves.
It's in my heart to talk about this, but I don't want to. I believe the viruses were received from websites that should not have been visited (porn). I know my husband looked at them occasionally, but I did too. I'm ashamed to say that but honestly, I believe that those viruses served as a warning. I vowed to God to NEVER look at another porn website. And so far, I have not. My husband does not either.
I know things seem harmless, but temptation gets the best of us. I hate temptation and I hate sin and I do wish God created us without those issues. I also wish God put little wings on my Pug. :) (ok that was my random thought of the day). I want to do right in the eyes of the Lord. I really do. But it has to be one step at a time.
Right now, there are two things that I really feel need to be focused on: Tithing & Spreading the Word of God. Tithing is something I am very okay with. However, my husband is in charge of all the budgeting and says if we tithe we will not have enough money to pay our monthly bills. Does anyone have any opinions on this or suggestions? I say that if we tithe, God will somehow provide us with what we need to get our bills paid off. My husband knows that God performs miracles, but I am thinking that my husband does not think he will provide us with what we need to get it done. Lack of faith on his part, maybe?
Spreading the word of God... that is a tough one for me. I am shy when it comes to talking to new people. And I don't want to sound dumb (which I do often - so I use humor to detract from that). I have a hard time repeating things "word for word" and I'm slow to memorize. So I've been thinking of two things recently that I could do to help spread the word of God: Writing & Photography.
Let me start with Photography, that one is easy for me. I absolutely LOVE taking pictures and editing. I've actually been begging friends to do photo shoots with me (FOR FREE) this year so I can get in as much practice as I can. I started thinking of actually starting my business next year. My problem is that I don't want to charge anyone! I want to give them great photos and surprise them. I don't want people to pay and be disappointed. Low self-esteem maybe? Hmm... But, I LOVE taking pictures of nature: Trees, lakes, waterfalls, mountains, sunsets, etc. God's creation is so beautiful. And I thought about maybe publishing some of these photos with maybe a Bible Verse attached. Maybe sell something like that at a Christian store? I would love to do that, but just not sure how to get started. That is one way I feel I can help spread the word through photography. (I took the picture of the below flower and edited it and added a Bible Verse).
Writing is another story. I love to write. I am very creative and can make up tons of stories in my head and tell friends for entertainment purposes. But I don't feel I am knowledgable enough to write a Christian book. Maybe because I have only read the New Testatment and have never made it through the Old Testament? Maybe because when I read, I need help understanding what it is God is saying? But I would LOVE to do this. Maybe a children's Christian book, perhaps? Start small, right? I did write for my high school and college newspaper. I guess I just feel there is much better talent out there that I don't feel like I could even remotely compare. Low self-esteem? Wow, I need to work on that. :)
So with those two things in mind, I will keep working at doing my research, taking more pictures, and maybe start the beginning of a draft manuscript to see where it leads me. I HOPE these are gifts that God gave me. If so, I am very thankful - but I need to realize that I am good enough at producing something wonderful that can spread his word.
Lord, you have provided me with two Gifts. I know you want us to be humble, but I would like to pray for just a little bit more confidence to produce the spreading of your word with those gifts. I believe I can be really good at them... but I do constantly compare myself to other "better" individuals and works. I pray that, if these are the true gifts that you have given me, that I can do your works with ease.
Lord, I'm actually feeling better today. I continue to pray for healing throughout my body, chest, throat, sinuses and ears. I also pray for you to protect me, my husband and daughter from any harm, danger, evil or sickness that may come our way.
Lord, forgive me in all the ways that I fail you. If I sin and I am unknowing that I am sinning, please show me my wrongfulness so that I may work on that.
Lord, thank you again for all that you have done and blessed me with. Thank you for this Blog as well. It's a release and a reminder for me. A reminder to get closer to you and allow others to share and maybe learn. Allows me to spread the word? I hope so! I love you!
I pray this in your son's precious name!
Amen
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